Hold on, time to take the drogas.
There we go.
FYI, if you didn't know already, I am allowed to eat whatever I want because I take diabetes medication even though I don't have diabetes. The opposite - I am hypoglycemic, which is why I pass out all the time stupidly and am also always grumpy. I take Metformin, which helps regulate my insulin, which is the only reason I'm nice to you sometimes. So even though I CAN eat anything I want, ironically, the meds make me want to eat nothing, and when I do, vomit it all up. So that's fun. But the reason I just told you that random fact was to explain why I can eat ice cream for breakfast and allz will be okay. And also because I am FREAKING OUT and that always ends in disaster and run-on sentences.
"So why are you freaking out, Beckie?" you might be asking.
Let me tell you. Today my whole world got thrown upside-down. My kids allofasudden grew up into adults who hate me, my house is quiet, I am not driving to work, I have time to blog, I have time to think. Ohmygod. Today was the first day of school for my kids at their new elementary school.
|Mom is sooooooooo embarrassing.|
|Turn around! Let me see your backpacks! Hate Mom-me.|
My house is silent. Until 3:30. Silent.
That is also quite strange for me because I am sitting at home on a Monday. Remember, I've been a teacher for the last 5 years of my life. This is the first year SINCE I WAS FOUR YEARS OLD that I haven't had a school year. Panic Panic Panic. My life is awesome awesome, don't get me wrong, but I think in my old age I am realizing change is hard. Maybe not hard, but weird. I wish there were better words for this. Off-putting? Off-balance? Those sound negative, and it's not a negative feeling, just a... weird... feeling. See, I'm bad at this. But think, if your life has always revolved around school year, summer off, school year, summer off, and then all of a sudden, there is no summer off, there is new job during the summer, and then your kids go to school and you aren't going with them at the same time, and it felt like there was no summer because you moved to a strange land, and now you don't work 4 minutes away from them and can't pick them up if they have a tummy ache (even though they don't need you to now because they are adults), it's going to feel WEIRD! It's strange, too, to not have to worry about lesson plans and first days for students and parent teacher conferences and early morning meetings. (Butohmygodit'ssoawesome!!!!!) (If you're thinking about getting into the teaching field - DON'T! Unless you're a big fan of politics, red tape, and assholes. Then it's definitely the career for you.)
Now I have all this... what do you call it? Time? I think so. I have time to go through that huge stack of bills staring at me right now. So I'm definitely gonna call it and go into the other room, cuz ain't nobody got time for that.
OMG I wonder how my babies are doing right now! Is there a biting-off-fingernails emoticon? :3 Nope, just ballsface. Next blog: how they were perfectly fine and I have anxiety issues.